install theme

so things have been pretty shit lately, but i just paid the remaining balance of my tuition and i’m going back to school full time and that basically fucks everything else and make things bright and shiny again

quarter life crisis coming right up!

i finally watched the veronica mars movie last night because i’ve been scared to watch it because my vm love runs so deep and it was pure magic and then today my best friend/roommate put me on her family plan and i got a new iphone 5s in white and gold and like life is pretty cool sometimes

when people make me playlists it really fucks me up in the worst and best ways possible

i sip my morning coffee, ordered the same way every day. it’s familiar taste has never been more comforting. it’s weird how that can work sometimes. that the small taste of your usual feels like home, when your home isn’t your home yet. when you’ve just packed up all of your life into cardboard boxes. the new life you built for yourself is divided up into a dozen packages sleeping on your newliving room floor. sleeping on a mattress with no sheets and a new smell in the air. new noises, new floors. your entire apartment, into a room, all of your things staring you in the face. so many changes, so many stresses. the last two weeks have been so long and she hasn’t been here for any of it. your lives moving one million miles an hour, 300 miles apart, making your stagnant relationship seem to be falling behind because one minute you’re in love and talking on the phone in bed until you fall asleep, and the next minute your bed is in a new house and you haven’t heard her voice in days, or seen her face, or touched her in weeks, and everything feels different and the only thing that can save you, right now, right this second, is this fucking cold cup of coffee in your mouth and down your throat, and you feel the sting in your stomach, and for that second, everything is okay, everything is familiar, and everything will get better.

i am forever amazed with human relationships and how they grow from nothing, or evolve into something completely different without you even realizing until it’s just there, in your face, throwing itself at you saying “look at me! look at me!” and then you couldn’t ignore it if you tried. or how outside forces like distance between two bodies or time between conversations can change the inside forces like love and admiration and how confidence can turn into fear and how closing your eyes and having one dream is enough time for everything to change and can you get it all back? these thoughts are malignant growths forming from knots in your belly making their way into your brain until you can’t hold a conversation or concentrate on anything but this overbearing realization of change and just hold out hope that this change is fluid enough that things can also go back to the way they were or that they can grow into something even better than before